And Throw Away the Key
by Usako3000
Summary: Turned on by her soldiers, abused by her prince, Serena finds the strength to leave. She finds long forgotten family, old enemies and her birthright as a princess. As the darkness continues can true love find it's way back? A gritty, adult and passionate retelling of the story made famous many years ago.
1. The Night

In 1997 I posted 'And Throw Away the Key' on a ASMR. It was one of **the first 'runaway'** fics and widely posted on numerous sites. I never completed it. Recently, upon happening on the story, crudely written in my preteen way I decided I would give a try at rewriting and completing it as it was one of the key stories in my original run as a fanfiction author.

This story will be much, much different than the original beginning. **It is an adult, gritty and romantic story** that will follow a **slightly AU canon for R**. Some plots remain while others have changed.

I am posting this first chapter to **see if there is any interest in it**, so please take the time to send me a **review if you would like to see more.**

* * *

**...And Throw Away the Key**

**Chapter One**

**The Night**

* * *

**T**he storm raged violently through the city streets. Loud thunder cracked the sky in half while rain pelted down on the bruised, battered form of Sailor Moon as her comrades in arms circled her, faces showing no mercy.

"You let us down, Sailor Moon." Mars, as always was the first to spit fire. "I'm starting to think it's useless to even attempt to train you! Look at us! Look at Jupiter – unconscious! Look at Rini!"

Sailor Moon's eyes fell on her 'cousin' from away. The girl was terribly burned from a youma attack and was sobbing miserably under Mercury's ministrations.

Never one to turn down family, Serena had been surprised at the girl's appearance. It wasn't the shock of having something odd and magical occur, as that had been the status quo ever since she had discovered her past as a princess and a magical soldier, but rather that after she had appeared the new life Serena had built had shattered.

Before she had gained knowledge of her past life, Serena had been floundering for meaning, for love. All at once she gained it all and when Beryl had been painstakingly defeated she had thought she had finally earned her happy ending. A few months later, Rini had appeared and brought with her a new battle and new enemies much stronger and more intelligent than a love-scorned witch.

After the battle with Beryl, Serena had been elated to think she could finally fall into a secure, happy relationship with her one true love, but Darien had had other plans. Though initially he had been loving and kind, it had devolved slowly into a strained relationship that he finally ended viciously a month ago. She had been shocked and thrown herself on his mercy, begging him for answers. All the fears she had confided in him were tossed back into her face: She was unlovable. Even if they were fated, he didn't want to be with her. He wanted his own life.

At the same time, the senshi had decided that her abilities were questionable. The worst part was that Usagi worried about that herself. She often would stay awake at night, in a cold sweat, fearing the next battles and wondering how she could possibly manage. The only one with magic so strong to finish an enemy off, she was expected at every battle. When battles increased to daily, sometimes even more than one per day, she found herself depleted and suffering. The other senshi staggered their appearances, able to take the rest they needed.

The battle this afternoon had hit her in the arm with a type of poison that made every movement unbearable. Rolling in her bed she hadn't even realised Rini had vanished from her house until the communicator had beeped to life. She had managed to hobble over only to find three youmas against her entire team.

The team had been significantly hurt by the time she managed to vanquish the creatures and depleted of magic and strength she had collapsed to the ground only to be surrounded by her teammates in a round of: Let's blame Serena.

"You should have been watching her!" Sailor Venus supplied, "What were you thinking?!"

"I was ill-" She started to defend herself, her voice weak and easily ignored. "I didn't-"

"You didn't what?!" Tuxedo Kamen strode over to her, pulling her up. "You didn't what, Usagi?! You didn't think! Look at her, she is badly hurt, everyone is badly hurt! The enemies are getting stronger and you're only getting weaker, you're letting everyone down!"

The unfairness of the situation burned her stomach and bitterly she pulled away, "You're only allowed to criticize if your power is something useful, Darien."

The slap caught her off guard and she tumbled to the ground in shock, cheek burning.

He had hit her.

She looked up at him in shock as he towered over her, hand still in the air.

* * *

_Eight Months Ago_

"Get up, Sailor Moon!" **D**ark Endymion chorused in a monotonous deep tone that reflected the amount of numbing brainwashing he had been hit with. "Get up and fight!"

Down, bruised and beaten on the floor before him, Sailor Moon stared up at him in shock as he towered over her, hand grasping his sword.

"I won't."

"Then you will die." He returned coldly, the sword lifting, ready to deal the death blow.

"Endymion, please." She begged, her heart too shattered to even attempt to fight him, "Please, don't do this. It's me: Serenity." Quietly and with a faint trace of accepting her fate she finished what she expected to be her last words, "I love you."

A flicker of blue shattered the blank slate of his eyes and the blow didn't fall.

Encouraged, she held her hand out to him. "I_ love_ you and you _love_ me. She took you from me, Endymion. Beryl may have your mind, but I have your heart. Please, remember."

"What is this trick?" He snarled, staring hard at her as if trying to place her face.

"There is no trick." She stretched her fingers out toward him, "Only love."

He looked as if he would hit her hand away, but after a long terrifying moment, reached out and took it. Sailor Moon immediately used the leverage to pull herself up and into his arms, their lips meeting in a kiss.

The light was blinding and when it cleared it was just she and he again. The sword fell from his hand in a clatter and through the hazy confusion in his eyes she could see it was the man she loved.

"Serenity." He whispered, pulling her tight to him, his lips crushing against hers in a desperate kiss. She melted into it, her horror and love all pouring from her as she went limp in his arms.

Pulling away, his expression was haunted as he held her away from him, looking at the injuries on her form, all of which had been borne from his magic and his hand just minutes prior.

"I hurt you." He choked, the tips of his fingers brushing against her bruised cheekbone.

"Endymion-"

"I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I forgot." His voice was tight, "I would never hurt you."

"I know." She soothed, forgiving.

"I will never hurt you again." He swore, "As long as I love you, Serenity, I will never hurt you again. I will _always_ remember."

* * *

**F**or a moment she expected her guard to take him down, screaming and howling as they would have done for her in the days on the Moon. Instead, after a shocked moment of silence, punctuated only by her sobs, Mars stepped forward.

"It is not Tuxedo Kamen who is useless. It's you. I think it's best if you bow out now. This is just too much." She held her hand out, a superior look on her face and for a moment Sailor Moon wondered how they had gone so far, how her life had cursed her so much.

Pulling herself to her feet, SailorMoon looked at her prince, at her guard, all of them having hurled only abuses her way. In them, she saw nothing of what little she remembered from their past. She saw nothing of the friends who had put their lives on the line for her during their battle with Beryl, nothing of the man who had protected her with every breath.

Mars watched her warily as Venus and Mercury remained mute.

Sailor Moon dropped her hand from her reddening cheek and set cool eyes on the raven-haired beauty. Ice trickled through her chest, consuming her body. Her hands felt numb. She felt no pain.

"If your hand is out for the Crystal, you are delusional, Mars. That is my birthright and a commoner such as you will not wield such a weapon. I see now that I must go, you are right." Her tear filled eyes fell on her prince, his face appropriately masked and void of all emotions. "There is nothing left for me here."

Despite having never done it before, a strength from inside her allowed her to call forth the power of the crystal and wish herself away, vanishing in a whirlwind of sparkles and dust.

* * *

**S**obbing, Serena rushed around her condo, trying to gather things together. Her purple luggage lay on the ground, flung open and filled with bundles of clothes. She was just throwing in some makeup when the situation hit her hard, as it had periodically over the last few hours, and she collapsed into deep tears on her sofa.

"Where are you going?" A young voice asked and she turned to find Rini standing there, watching her carefully through crimson eyes.

"I… I don't know." She began weakly, telling the truth. She had no idea where she would go. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." Rini said softly, "and I'm sorry. This is because of me."

"No, Rini," Serena stepped forward and put her hands on the girl's shoulders. "No, it isn't. I…I won't go anywhere, I promise."

The girl touched her hands and as their eyes met, Serena felt an unnerving sense of sameness.

"No, Serena. You have to go. Your love will make you stay, but you can't, don't you see? You have to go far, far away. You deserve better."

"But-" Serena argued weakly, yet already her mind was working. If even a child could see that the abuses she had suffered were inappropriate, Serena knew they were severe. For too long she felt obligated to those she loved. She was clingy, needy, craving their love and respect.

She _would _go.

She would go far_, far_ away.

She would lock her heart and throw away the key.

And she would never come back.

**To be Continued….**

Is there a **reason behind** the actions of the night? What could it be? Who **IS Chibi-Usa to Usagi**?

Well, this **story will continue solely based on your feedback**! If you would like to see more then **please take the time to leave a review** expressing that!

I am hesitant to delve back into Sailor Moon fanfiction seeing as it is a very quiet fanbase, but I would love to know there was interest in this story.


	2. Far, Far Away

Hi and welcome back to And Throw Away the Key. You have no idea **how amazing it was to read your reviews** and also to hear from some of you that you had been readers of mine from so many years ago! It really motivated me to get writing to give this to you!

As you should all know, this is an **adult retelling** of the story, so the senshi are older. What ages they are you can decide for yourself but they are young adults. Although the background is a rough form of canon for both the anime and live action, there are changes and they will be highlighted through flashbacks.

Crystal Tokyo is NOT a thing in this story. **Rini's background is something much different**. Old readers may be able to hazard a guess

Please **remember to leave a review** if you would like to see more of this story, I **write solely based on a demand for this story**, so would love to hear from you

Thanks to my anonymous reviewers: ladybug, unknown reader, Guest, (x3), chibi love, AM, lunachan90, E, Orly, Sailorfreak, Ana.

* * *

**And Throw Away the Key**

**Chapter Two**

**Far, Far Away**

* * *

"But, what about you? Your mother…" **S**erena finished, shaking her mind free of her plans to focus on the situation at hand. "You need to save her. You wanted the Crystal."

"I do." Rini said, looking down at her hands. "I … I've gone about this all wrong. I've been so selfish, Serena, I'm sorry. All I could see was my own problems and I never saw yours."

Taken back by the young girl speaking so maturely, Serena sat down curiously.

The pink-haired girl continued, "Travel of any sort, time, universes …it's all strictly limited, so I could never share with you things I should have. Go. Go and if I need you I will call you."

"How?" Serena shook her head, "Rini, how could you possibly-"

The smaller version of herself stepped forward and touched her fingers to Serena's forehead. There, beneath the warmth of her touch, Serena could feel her insignia begin to shine faintly. The one on Rini's forehead began to pulse at the same time. When Rini moved her hand they both faded into nothing but smooth skin.

Again, Serena felt that sense of sameness and stood, desperate to part. She constantly fought with her dichotomous feelings of attachment and discomfort toward the child. "Then, you will call me. I will go and … if there is … you will call me." She repeated the words over and over, still unable to bear to break away from her duty, from her life. "And where will you stay?"

"Here, for the night. I will go to Rei's tomorrow."

In a much calmer way, with Rini's help, Serena did her packing. She booked a plane ticket to England, where her mother's family resided. It only made sense to go there; it had been her refuge from trouble for every year of her life before all the darkness had begun. Her aunt and cousins were the large family that Serena had never had herself. It would be a comfort to her parents. After discovering her destiny, they had been beside themselves with worry over the past year. It would be a relief for them to hear she was away from the battles, away from the danger.

The dawn came quickly and still numb with shock, Serena pulled her bags toward the door to the condo. Rini, tired and drawn, looked up at her with a sad smile. Neither had slept a wink. A lump grew in Serena's throat.

"Bye Serena."

"Bye Rini." Then, unable to help herself she turned back, "I know you cannot tell me things but please, this one... is it _me_ that you're trying to save? Am _I_ your mother, Rini?"

Rini gave a bright giggle, covering her mouth with her hand as she ducked her face in amusement. "No." Their eyes met and the smaller girl gave a comical shrug. "In a way...it is you I'm trying to save, but no, you are not my Mother."

Serena blinked, "But…we're so similar."

"Yes," Rini agreed, "Yes, we are."

The girl with the cotton candy hair offered no more answers and so with that, Serena left her home, her heart in pieces but her resolve; never stronger.

* * *

**The Silver Millenium**

"Beryl, how nice to see you." **P**rince Endymion strode into the bathroom, shedding his outer cloak. The thick red cloth draped into a puddle on the marbled floors. "How are you?"

Dropping into a deep curtsy, the red haired maid felt her cheeks blush. "I am well, my Lord. And yourself? Your bath is almost ready-" She finished carefully poured the scents and lotions into it, mixing the steaming water with a large wooden stirrer. It was much like mixing a cauldron, a comparison that reminded the young witch to visit her mentor in the woods soon.

"I am well," He gave a great stretch, beckoning toward his valet who immediately began to help him undress from his intricate clothing. "Have to look all sorts of good tonight, it is the Earth Day Ball. Father insists I must find a wife amongst all the royalty in attendance."

"I see, Sire. Perhaps one of the princesses from the other planets?" Beryl answered hurriedly, well aware of the look the prince's valet was giving her. If she didn't want a cut in wages she would have to take her leave immediately.

"A princess?" Endymion scoffed, his handsome face alight with amusement, "Hardly. I loathe the arrogant, selfish personalities that high birth gives people – a princess would be the worst! I'd much rather have a sweet, lovely girl like one of you maids if only it was allowed." He sent a wink toward her as she curtsied out, a flush across her cheeks to match her hair.

She well remembered the one night they had shared. He had been drunk and she; dusting the vents. He had received a spectacular telling off from the King earlier and he had looked so down that Beryl couldn't help herself. The prince's handsomeness had been magnified by his vulnerability so she had approached and kissed him. It had turned into an indiscretion; her pushed against the fireplace as he bit down on her throat.

Beryl had expected to be sacked as most servants usually were after such an event, but instead the next morning the Prince had sought her out and apologized. Apologized as if he had been the one in the wrong, the one to step out of bounds. It was then that she began to harbor a suspicion that perhaps the prince liked her. Yes, he must've done. Even if the night had been three years ago and nothing more had come of it, she knew he must like her to be so kind, to keep her around. Afterall, he had yet to find a wife after being dangled around the courts. Perhaps he wanted to wait until he could find a way to give her title…give her power so the match would be decent.

The Prince was so sweet. It wouldn't be long now. Beryl's mentor had promised her great things. She _would _have that power. And she _would_ have the prince.

* * *

**D**arien had not been able to sleep. After the disastrous battle, he had stumbled back to his condo and thrown up. His actions had been despicable.

He had hit Serena.

_Hit_ her.

That was not the type of man Darien had ever dreamed he would be, and most importantly, not something he would ever have wanted to do to the woman he loved the most in the world.

But that love was so very cursed.

After defeating Beryl, they had thought they could finally be happy together but that hadn't happened. Something had always felt off. There had been misunderstandings. Darien had found himself always irritable. And then, the dreams had come.

Every night he was inundated with dreams of Serena dying, of Serena getting hurt because of him, of Serena suffering because of his presence. It would have been so easy to dismiss them if it hadn't been for the ones he had had before discovering his true identity. Dreams had foretold his future once, what was to say they weren't doing it again? Every night he dreamt of Serena's death, the common thread in them all was that it was always because of him.

She had died once because of him.

Their love had killed her once.

He couldn't let it kill her twice.

He saw the way she loved him. Serena had been so quick to love; her adoration had been obvious in every breath. Darien had no doubt that she would have died for him again and so he had crushed her heart so brutally and viciously to snuff that love out like the fading lights of summer fireflies. It gave him tremendous regret every day to hurt her in such a way but he knew it was for the greater good. In this way only he could be strong.

For his constant failing in his dream was that she died as he stood by uselessly.

In the aftermath of the battle when she had accused him of that very thing, his deepest fear and weakness: being useless, he had seen only red. His temper already so quick to spark, he had lashed out before even realising what he was doing, as if he was controlled by something completely separate from himself.

Serena had crumpled on the ground, sobbing, as Darien had stood in stunned silence, unable to even find his voice as Rei had taken the chance to kick the woman he loved while she was down.

It hadn't been an act to protect her. No, it had been his own weakness inside, his anger, his embarrassment at his own failures. Unable to help her, only able to hurt her, Darien had stumbled back home and spent the better part of a hour throwing up out of sheer emotion and shock. Had he really done that?

Now, in the late afternoon he sat in a daze, on his third cup of coffee. Unshaved, the bags under his eyes were purple and swollen.

Much like Serena's bruised cheek would be, his mind reminded him.

Groaning, his fingers tightened around the mug not even noticing as his fingers burned.

A knock on the door had him blearily getting to his feet. Mini stood on his doorstep, her pretty face tense and worried.

"What is it?"

"Serena's gone." She said softly, "Rini told everyone today. She left."

"Left?" He intoned confusedly.

"As in left the country. She's gone."

"What?" His mind was still muddled.

Mina's expression sharpened, "Darien. She is GONE. Far, far away! Serena LEFT."

The mug shattered against the floor, black coffee pooling around their feet as Darien digested the words.

She was gone.

There was horror.

And there was _relief_.

At least, if Serena was gone then there was no way he could hurt her anymore.

* * *

"You look younger." **S**erena remarked, examining her cousin critically as they drove through the narrow streets of London.

Selene was ten years older than Serena and growing up, their family had always remarked on the startling resemblance the two shared. They had the same doe like eyes, the same cascading hair and very similar features. If it wasn't for their age difference they could have passed as twins, let alone sisters.

Eying Serena bemusedly, Selene nodded. "What can I say, I'm not quite ready to be an old hag just yet."

"No, I mean. Not just that you haven't aged, but that you literally look younger!" Serena noted, "You look barely over twenty."

""Hmm." Selene said noncommittally as she glanced at their rearview mirror. "I have some questions about your looks as well you know, I've just been generous." She sent a pointed eye in Serena's direction and Serena felt a heat take her neck. She had arrived in England with her bags, easily modifying the memories of her extended family to think that the move had been planned. Her magic did not include cosmetic alterations and the bruised skin around the corner of her right eye was still partially visible.

This variation in magical abilities had always been a point of consternation for Serena. While wounds received in battle were quick to heal and regenerate, anything dealt out by the senshi themselves were not. They had learned that in the battles with Beryl's creatures. Mina had once fallen into the path of one of Jupiter's lightening strikes and had to be admitted into the hospital for over a week claiming she had been electrocuted by her television.

Although the bruise around her eye had been dealt by Darien's hand and not his magic, it persisted. It remained a stain on her looks, reminding her of what she had suffered and how little she was loved. Thinking of it now, a deep sadness engulfed her and made it difficult to breathe.

"I told you, a bag hit me in the face on the airplane. Damn overhead bins." Serena said, looking away.

"Hm." Selene glanced her and Serena felt a heaviness in her stomach, knowing her cousin was not convinced. Before the older girl could continue however, the car in front of them came to a sudden stop and Selene slammed on the breaks, sending Serena shooting forward, her seatbelt tightening and pulling her back against her seat.

"What?" Selene frowned as the man in front got out of his car, running toward something in front of it. "What is happening?"

The man began to wave his hands as traffic came to a standstill. Selene switched off the ignition, the music they had been listening to silencing and suddenly they became well aware of the sirens and screams that surrounded them.

Serena and Selene shared a shocked stare and before she could stop her, Selene was getting out of the car. "Wait, Selene!" Serena cried, rushing to unbuckle her seatbelt.

"Stay here!" Selene ordered, running toward the man. He was standing over a bleeding young man who had collapsed on the road. "I'm a doctor, let me pass!" Rushing toward him, she fell to her knees beside him. "What happened? Can you breathe?"

While Selene was used to medical emergencies, Serena was used to a different type of emergency and the number of sirens and screams had her realising something before even the man managed to cough out.

"Monster! Monster!"

The creature came hurtling past, green with violet hair as Serena grabbed Selene, pulling her away and out of the way of it's path. "RUN!" They ran into a narrow alleyway between two buildings as the creature zoomed past and into the air. The injured man gave a howl as the man who had first stopped to help ducked down.

Serena stood in shocked horror. A creature. Here. She would have to transform. The appearance of Sailor Moon would allow her soldiers to find her. The train of thought was complete and her shoulders slumped, resigned to her fate. Ready to transform before she had even fully finished the thoughts, Serena reached from her broach. She couldn't let innocent people get hurt – she couldn't –

"SUN CRYSTAL POWER!" A blast of light in the alleyway forced Serena against the brick walls. Shielding her eyes with her arm, Serena gaped as her cousin was engulfed in ribbons and sparkles.

The light casting radiance on her face, Serena squinted as it cleared, revealing a tall, beautiful sailor soldier.

Her cousin was a sailor.

Selene stood in resplendent glory. Her skirt was a deep maroon red trimmed with yellow, Her ribbons; a wild, rich orange. But what surprised Serena the most was that in the moment before Selene leapt out of the alleyway she saw that the other woman had no tiara. No, just like Serena herself after the battle with Beryl, she had a golden moon gracing the very center of her forehead.

"Hey you! How dare you hurt innocent people like this! In the name of the Sun, I'm going to kick your bloody arse!" The creature turned and opening it's gaping maw sent hundreds of tiny tendrils toward Sailor Sun. Ducking it easily she blasted the creature with little balls of what looked like flaming lava. Unlike Serena and her soldiers, Sailor Sun did not verbalize any incantations. Instead, she just battled smoothly and with the grace of a performer.

Like a dance, the creature and Sailor Sun hit away at eachother as they circled around. Sailor Sun had just pulled a wand out that looked suspiciously like Serena's own except with a hollow sun around a crystal when the creature vanished. Sun faltered, turning and got hit in the back with the tendrils. The green ropes tightened about her arms, her body jerking as it was shocked.

As she screamed out, Serena yelped as well, her hand grasping her locket once more, ready to transform.

Yet once again it was unneeded, as before anything could happen, a man appeared, cutting cleanly through the tendrils with a golden, glowing sword. Sailor Sun effortlessly turned and dusted the creature with her scepter, not a word spoken.

Panting, she sent a smile to the man who was dressed in an uniform reminiscent to a prince's guard. It was broad shouldered, red and heavily decorated. Serena, speechless at watching a battle unfold without her, felt frozen in her spot when Sailor Sun gestured toward her.

The man turned and Serena recoiled.

She knew his face.

It was handsome. Blonde hair fell over sharp icy eyes and there was a familiar cruel tilt to sulky lips. It was a face that had lightened in glee as he tormented and tortured her and her soldiers for months.

It was Jaedite.

**To be Continued….**

Who is **Sailor Sun to Serena really**? Is Darien **redeemable**? What will the Four Kings role be? On that note: **Who IS Rini** if not Serena's daughter? I'd be pretty impressed if any of you remember and could make a correct guess!

If you would like to see more then **please take the time to leave a review** expressing that!

I am hesitant to delve back into Sailor Moon fanfiction seeing as it is a very quiet fanbase, but I would love to know there was continued interest in this story. **I will always reply to signed reviews!**


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